When the Secret Service uncovered a credible threat against the President, they needed a trustworthy media organisation to break the news to the public. Unfortunately, they couldn’t find one and decided to give the story to us.
The Secret Service told Biting News they have no idea how to defend against this threat. “There’s nothing we can do,” claimed Agent Provocateur. “We’re simply not trained to handle a situation like this.”
According to a CNN poll, Joe Biden is the most beloved President in history. And given that indisputable fact, who on Earth would want to harm kindly old Uncle Joe? After clearing Alexandra Tara Reade, Lucy Flores, Amy Lappos, D.J. Hill, Caitlyn Caruso, Ally Coll, Sofie Karasek, Vail Kohnert-Yount, and Kamila Harris the Secret Service were stumped.
Fortunately for the President, the crack team here at Biting.News investigated the matter. Within minutes we had tracked down the perpetrator, taken the photo attached to this report, and submitted it to a grateful Secret Service.
I happened to find an old song about #JoeBiden down the back of my couch...
For more snark and satire check out - https://biting.news/?r=locals
Facebook today introduced #Woke Orientated Programming (W.O.P.)! This entirely new programming paradigm runs code in a safe space to ensure programmers (present and future) aren't offended by the algorithms, functions and methods they write.
W.O.P. has no constants and is an Extremely loosely typed language (ELTL). This ensures all constants can transition into any other type of data entity, including functions, objects, methods and properties to suit the needs of the woke cult. An experienced programmer may think a W.O.P. program is difficult to debug. Not so! All bugs are cancelled immediately when reported to Facebook moderators.
