There are eight known allegations of sexual assault against President Joe Biden. Naturally, the mainstream media, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, the FBI, and the #NotYou movement are doing everything they can to look the other way.
As far as the establishment is concerned Alexandra Tara Reade, Lucy Flores, Ally Coll, Sofie Karasek, Amy Lappos, Caitlyn Caruso, D.J. Hill and Vail Kohnert-Yount don’t exist.
Apparently, exploiting sexual assault for political purposes is acceptable behaviour in Democratic Party circles.
Biting News is keen to get to the bottom (so to speak) of the sexual assault allegations against Biden. We sent crack reporter, Carmin Gettit, to interview President Biden.
Gettit: President Biden, is there any truth to the accusations you groped eight women and touched the breast of the girlfriend of a Secret Service agent?
Biden: No.
Gettit: What about the accusation you walked around naked in front of female Secret Service agents?
Biden: That never happened!
Gettit: Then why did the Secret Service say it did?
Biden: Look, fat, you know the Secret Service will never risk posting a female agent on my detail.
Gettit: So you DID do it?
Biden: No, I have never groped a woman.
Gettit: You’re groping ME right now!
Biden: That wasn’t me. It was Trump!
At this point, the Secret Service terminated the interview, returned Biden to his Hannibal Lecter Restraint Dolly™ and wheeled him off to his basement fortress.
I happened to find an old song about #JoeBiden down the back of my couch...
For more snark and satire check out - https://biting.news/?r=locals
Facebook today introduced #Woke Orientated Programming (W.O.P.)! This entirely new programming paradigm runs code in a safe space to ensure programmers (present and future) aren't offended by the algorithms, functions and methods they write.
W.O.P. has no constants and is an Extremely loosely typed language (ELTL). This ensures all constants can transition into any other type of data entity, including functions, objects, methods and properties to suit the needs of the woke cult. An experienced programmer may think a W.O.P. program is difficult to debug. Not so! All bugs are cancelled immediately when reported to Facebook moderators.
