Every single person working for CNN has the same opinion about everything. There is no diversity of thought and in this exclusive, we explain why…
Biting News spoke to Oliver Rant, a neighbour living across the road from a mysterious CNN facility on the outskirts of Atlanta.
“I was working in the garden when I noticed an outside broadcast vehicle idling in the street. A worker emerged from the facility and wheeled a dolly out to the vehicle. There was a person strapped to the dolly who looked exactly like Don Lemon. Within seconds another worker emerged carrying Chris Cuomo.”
“I decided to investigate and found a broken window behind the facility. What I saw chilled me to the bone.”
“I saw a series of cubby-holes, each housing a CNN presenter connected to a glowing green panel. The presenters appeared to be asleep, but it was clear they were receiving information. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was looking at a Borg Regeneration Unit.”
“The plain fact is, CNN is staffed by the members of a Borg collective. They share a hive mind and that explains everything they’ve broadcast for the last 5 years.”
Biting News asked CNN to comment on the revelation. We received this reply…
“We are the Collective News Network. Lower your shields and surrender your mind. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.”
I happened to find an old song about #JoeBiden down the back of my couch...
For more snark and satire check out - https://biting.news/?r=locals
Facebook today introduced #Woke Orientated Programming (W.O.P.)! This entirely new programming paradigm runs code in a safe space to ensure programmers (present and future) aren't offended by the algorithms, functions and methods they write.
W.O.P. has no constants and is an Extremely loosely typed language (ELTL). This ensures all constants can transition into any other type of data entity, including functions, objects, methods and properties to suit the needs of the woke cult. An experienced programmer may think a W.O.P. program is difficult to debug. Not so! All bugs are cancelled immediately when reported to Facebook moderators.
